A SMALL LECTURE IN BERLIN CULTURE feat Adrian Kreipe

In one blurry Hoi An night, Claudia and I happened upon this German guy, who was first only known as German guy. Little did we know by that time in the pre-gaming bar with all of the drinks that we should later encounter German guy several times before leaving Hoi An, and in one of these glorious rendez-vous frozen in time, German guy told me about Karneval der Kulturen.

Very good night, I think...

Frankly do not remember many details. 

Photos by @claudianguyenthe

By then, I had learned how to pronounce his name the german way [Adrian = aht-ree-ann] and since we were good enough friends to invite him over to our homestay's porch, I thought we were good enough friends to set up a meeting in Berlin two months later.

Genderswaping done right

Photo by @claudianguyenthe

We also had a very nice photoshoot. A

drian turned out to be a perfect prop slash pouty model

My original plan was to go see my aunt anyway so would he chicken out or suddenly realize I was a weirdo, I would still be fine exploring Berlin on my own.
On the afternoon on the day of the festival I jumped of S-bahn at Fredrichstrasse and found a familiar face waiting for me. Two things happended literally immediately: we started talking, and we started drinking.
"As long as you are not actually on the tram, you can drink everywhere." Adrian said when he saw me sceptical face. "Welcome to Berlin!"

This is just one of many things I got to encounter with the following days...
Scroll on down to see the whole list of

BERLIN CULTURE 
QUIRKS AND PERKS

! WARNING TO SENSITIVE READERS !

(MEANING: MUM): 

I will seem like I drank a lot this trip, 

(...which I kind of did...)

but I am an adult and I was in Berlin, 

so I had to embrace the culture. 

●●●●●

1.

GERMANS ARE 

CRAZY ABOUT 

THEIR ASPARAGUS

"So you were free tomorrow?" I asked Adrian as we sat down to drink beverage no 553 of the early evening. (Strangely enough, I was the only one seemingly affected by them. But we'll get there...)
"Nope!" He said firmly. "I am going to eat asparagus with my family!"
Thus started a heated discussion that basically boiled down to

- during asparagus season, -

which is in May, 

Germans go crazy 

and see asparagus 

- as it was eatable gold - 

and this

(We did not get an answer)

●●●●●

2.

...AND THEIR 
TECHNO MUSIC

The night was almost over. Adrian fought to keep his eyes open.
"But you can't say you've been to Berlin and not been to a techno club" he said, sincerly sorry for my sake. "What are your friends going to say, huh? They are going to be embarressed for you that you haven't been to a techno club, IN BERLIN."

Still, we had to call it a night. I was still a bit hung over from two nights before and the rest of the gang had already thrown in the towel hours ago.

It is the sad but sincer truth: I have not yet been to a technoclub in Berlin.
(I choose to see it as "yet another reason for a re-visit" but Adrian was not happy with neither me nor his performance as a guide.)


Speaking of techno-lodgy...

●●●●●

3.

INTERNET HERE MAY ACTUALLY BE FROM THE STONE EDGE

During the Karnival, it was impossible to get cell reception. Even in crowded markets in Asia there was never a problem with your phone plan, but apparently fiber is too much for otherwise modern Germany.

●●●●●

4.

IF A GERMAN 
TELLS YOU TO BE 
THERE BY 18.30, 
BE THERE BY 18.20

13 weeks with island time, the need to actually be in time was kind of shocking. Do yourself and your reputation a favor and be in time for a meeting with a German.

"I was only ten minutes early to get a beer!"

Which leads us to number 5...

●●●●●

5.

THEY SURE CAN HANDLE THEIR BEER

Trying to keep up drinking wise with these guys would be a suicide mission. Ten beers in their focus was clear as day and their step still stabil as if they walked on solid concrete, while I felt a bit tipsy after my third of these

which I am pretty sure only contained like... 3% alcohol. But when something with alcohol + strawberried are 3 € only and drinkable in the streets alongside thousands and thousands of people, you go for it.

●●●●●

6.

GERMAN BOYS
ARE *GORGEOUS* 

Tall, cheekbones for days and beautiful, glittering eyes...
I just described my prince charming and also, about every under 30 guy I saw during the karnival.

I was like a kid in a candy store with too many choices - everytime I saw a new sweet I could talk to my brain got greedy and told me "but what if you find an even hotter guy in a second?".
Which, to be fair, I always did.

I mean just look at this fine selection of gentlemen I had the fortune of calling my drinking buddies for the first night of the karneval.

●●●●●

7.

ENGLISH? 
WAS IS DAS? 

No, not even in the big metropolis Berlin you can expect to be understood if you only speak english. Dust off that old school german, be prepared for charades or put your faith in Google translate because this is gonna be one bumpy ride before you've gotten your currywurst.

...which by the way was so much better than I expected it to be

●●●●●

8.

UNDERGROUND 
IS NEW 
UPPERGROUND 

Hipsterism is what you drink, eat, breathe in Berlin. Every foreign culture is a treasure chest to be opened and art galleries are as common as Getränken shops.
Really wanna be edgy here? Be the only one who tries to blend in.

●●●●●

9.

YOU MAY DRINK... EVERYWHERE, AND FROM 16 YEARS OLD

It is totally legal to buy and drink beer as a 16 yo, however, you may not be outside in the streets after 10 pm. if you are under SIXTEEN ??

Like... Legally. There is a curfew. Is it only me who finds that bizarre?

Edit:  Adrian lied, it is not really a law, but more guidelines. Read more about it - HERE -

●●●●●

EXTRA

FUN TRIVIA 
ABOUT BERLIN 
NIGHT LIFE 

INTO KINKY STUFF OR JUST WANT TO TRY SOMETHING NEW? 

Check out KitKat - a club you can only go to if you dress up fetish (OBS! Naked won't just do it!).

YES, THERE IS MORE THAN ONE CLUB IN BERLIN THAT OPENS AT SATURDAY AND CLOSES MONDAY MORNING

Thought that was only a backpacker myth but no, Adrian and Duc confirmed it. You do have to leave at some point, Duc insisted, while Adrian said you could just stay for the while weekend. Maybe have to come back next time to make a believable field study...

Up for partying all night and all day and all night again?

Type in 

SISYPHOS, 

BERNHEIN, 

WILDE RENATE 

or

KATER BLAU 

into Google Maps, to name a few... 

A nice selfie-moment during our first night in Berlin's bar haze... 

#myfirstpartyinberlin

●●●●●

QUESTIONS 
FOR NEXT LESSION: 

ARE ALL GERMANS 
STINGY 
OR IS IT JUST ADRIAN?

:EMAPLE FOLLOWS: 

Quote German guy: 

"Do you want to share a shawarma?"

"Sure"

"Then you have to pay me... What is half of 3.5?"

:EXAMPLE TWO:

Never seen anyone as genuinly pouty as Adrian when the pizza man 

accidentally made him pay for both of our pizzas. 

That was the best day of my life though. 

Wish I could have saved his face and use it as a screensaver.

●●●●●

The weirdest thing about Berlin tho is the fact that 

- ADRIAN IS SINGLE? -

He is intellectual, funny (my words) and works with saving the world (his words). 

Leave a comment if you 
just now got hit by 

the sudden urge to go to Berlin 
and need a pretty... 
I mean excellent guide.

---

CHECK OUT HIS INSTAGRAM HERE:
@akbln90