11 augusti 2016

THE 6,236 KILOMETERS BETWEEN US

Traveling, in general, are absolutely awesome. Seeing new things all day long makes me rush-y, inspired so to the point that I can never put down the camera.

Bloging has given traveling a new dimension as well. I can write and edit photos and process the day and its new experiences at the same time. By doing so, I feel like I get the time and opportunity to really appreciate it. It doesn't feel like a fantastic day that is now gone, it feels like a day preserved in the time capsel that is the written word and the taken picture. I never feel more alive than when I stand speechless somewhere beautiful, after having just taken the perfect picture of it and know that I'll always have the memory.


Zhangjiajie National Forest Park, 
the cliffs that seems to be made of something out of this world


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Traveling with this kind of constelation, a.k.a my family... All though it works good enough, it can sometimes be too challenging. My parents might have been the best parents, but not the best couple. They don't really fight but they go in to their old routines, their old roles, as we all do, and frankly, me and the gang were kind of happy to have escaped those roles.

The divorce was a long, messy story, but it ended up in a fresh start and five people being happier than they had been in years. I think everyone appreciated that after the first rough period of getting used to everything.


They can still be silly together even though us kids kind of wish they weren't... 

So the problem isn't that they fight. It's more the realization of how bad they where together that kind of take us all with surprise. We have managed to split up every other day or so but we still spend so much time all together and two weeks in, we all start to get on each others nerves.

This trip has been very good, but would I put my parents in the same appartment again, if I was the one in charge? No. Same city, two agendas only interveining when both saw it fit, would have been awesome. But I don't make the calls so I just have to deal with it for now.


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But also, we've grown.
Most of us are adults now (only three more years to go mr dazus) and we starting to create our own lifes. I am traveling with my family, sure, but one family member is missing.

Jonathan is a part of my family too, sometimes the biggest part. It feels empty not having him with me, not only for the aching hole in my chest, but also for the fact that everything turns technicolor when he is with me. I guess it is stupid and cliché at the same time, but there's something missing in my world when Jonathan's not in it. I need him with me as a boyfriend, but also as a friend and a familymember.




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Saturday is the day of the wedding. Even though he just met a few of the relatives from my fathers side (since they live in Germany, England, Canada and I'm sorry Clara, I don't even know where you are now), I think he would have been fine there. I would have been more fine if he were there.

Gosh this is harder than I wish it was...





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Well. Well.

..Well. Soon we are home and then I'll wish I was out traveling again. I sure will miss Starbucks around every corner, the constant flow of apologies for basically anything, and of course I'll miss the big family. It's almost only weddings that really gathers us all. We fly to the other side of the planet for the sake of love, that is kind of beautiful when you think about it.

For the sake of my own love I'll continue to count hours and wish he was here, but we'll have time to be with each other the rest of our lives. For now I just have to practice the art of being here and now. That is an activity that, if performed perfectly, takes all your attention.





Kisses



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